Sam. Straight, 20 something. World weary. Spend too much time and money on video games.

 

lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

(Source: artvevo)

spoken-not-written:

THE CUTEST THING IS WHEN SOMEONE CAN’T STOP SMILING LIKE THEY SMILE THEN THEY TRY TO NOT SMILE THEN THEY END UP SMILING MORE AND THEIR CHEEKS GO ALL CUTE AND SAPOIDSP[DOSADPSA[]PS[]DSAPD[]SAP

A woman is only vulnerable when her nail polish is drying, and even then she can still pull a trigger.

some great quote I heard somewhere once upon a time and that is very, very true (via fawun)

(Source: traffic-jam-session)

athomewithlana:

pxxies:

self-respect is my respect for myself

i could as well suck 3 thousand dicks and still respect myself so shut the fuck up

Hell I would respect u for sucking 3 thousand dicks

ocaptainrogers:

erebusodora:

msgryz:

the-cellist-in-portland:

Did you know: Chris Evans gets panic attacks. Yes, he does. This is one reason why he’s very private and didn’t really do any meet-and-greets on the Avengers’ sets.

It amazes and inspired me that a man who does what he does can do it, even with an anxiety disorder. You go, Chris.

This is why I get so upset when I hear negative comments about Chris and how he doesn’t seem as out-going as the rest of the Avengers cast. I remember hearing people complain about how he’s ‘rude’ and the like and it’s sad, because I highly doubt he intends to come off that way, he’s just more reserved than the others.

I remember hearing once that he actually went to seek psychiatric help before accepting the role of Captain America because of how anxious he felt regarding it. As well as the fact that he already played another Marvel superhero and he was concerned how comic fans would react to his playing another hero in that universe.

Just because someone’s in the entertainment industry doesn’t mean they’re going to be incredibly outgoing off camera just as much as they appear to be on camera. Some people just really enjoy acting; they’re not the characters they portray nor are they like their costars nor are they going to be incredibly outgoing because of their choice of career.

(Source: ohyeahcevans)

fuckestuppest:

chris evans is half frat boy beefcake and half tender sensitive artist who loves his family and cries at sunsets and that’s why he’s so fucking dangerous

baiosbootybutt:

D O EVER JUST MARVEL AT THE FACT GAVIN FREE HAS FUCKING WORKED IN MOVIES AND CREATED FRICK IN G MASTERPIECES LIIKE HOT FUZZ WAS GAVIN, SHERLOCK HOLMES WAS GA VIN, sNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN WAS GAVIN, 

BUT 90% OF THE TIME HE’S JUST LIKE

image

(Source: therealsteveharvey)